They found a cure for cancer today
The only question now, was just who could pay?
News traveled fast, lives would be saved
Calculators hummed, for the monetary depraved
Lung cancer patients studied the scale
An arm and a leg for the cure was on sale
Colo-rectal cancer was billed as a bargain
Lawyer’s fees were immense to decipher the jargon
For the women who are listening we won’t forsake thee
We understand that the ovaries are a target of “C”
And to breast cancer patients we want you to relax
“Cause even if we cleave ‘em, we’ll install a new rack
Testicular cancer makes a guy feel like a dork
But you’ll be hanging like new with sacks filled with cork
And whilst Penis cancer is rare we realize it’s demanding
With our backdoor cashier we exhibit… understanding
Leukemia patients lined up for miles
Triage estimators managed to banish the smiles
Melanoma sufferers drug themselves to the din
“We accept MasterCard to make whole the skin”
Pancreatic cancer, a death sentence heretofore
Alleviated by eighty payments of five thousand dollars or more
Brain cancer, Liver cancer, cancer of the bone
Dial 1-800-Beat-The-C, on your cellular phone
Our operators are knowledgeable, and know how you feel
Their all former clients, who got in first on the deal
So no matter the loved one, say a wife or a child
You’ll have taken the first step, the moment you’ve dialed
Our services may sound costly that’s just meant to be
It takes a lot of greenback to beat back the "C"
Yet were not without compassion so we’d like to correct
For Misunderstandings press seven and ask… for Cancer Collect
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