Crude 'Tude

Uncle Sam’s a hype
You’re hip to the type
A junkie with a monkey
Ridin’on his back
But he ain’t sniffin’ crack
And he ain’t shootin’ smack
But when he roll up his sleeve
You can eyeball the track
Sam the kind of cat
Who got a boatload of ‘tude
Sam the sort of greedy fool
Cravin’ light, sweet crude
He need it bad and when he don’t get it
Scare him half to death
He need it like a fiend need rock
Like a bag chaser scoring meth
He’ll mainline from an Arab desert
Maybe squeeze it from some shale
Or dip his needle in the bottom of the sea
And go through the agonies divin’ with the whales
Sam, he Rapacious
He Voracious
He our Uncle and the brother need a hit!
Sam’s on a bender
A real gushin’ neverender
He gotta have this shit
Sammy got a hookup named Arco
He know a pusher named Shell
Sam pay for a stash
With fresh minted cash
Then blow a fix on an oil well
He once had a skirt named Ethyl
Who OD’d and turned up dead
She serviced V8’s coast to coast
‘Til they buried her ass
‘Cause a too much lead
Poor ol’ Sam a doper
And he sportin’ a lotta canker
He made it big with his crazy rig
Now he just tinkerin’
Lookin’ for a tanker
Lately Sam’s gettin’ shaky
Man just got to lubricate
Crusty ol’ dude in need of crude
So he thinkin’ ‘bout movin’ to Quaker State
The ol’ boy sure is strung out
Sam really got the jones
Fightin’ wars to score some more
Then sniffin’ fumes through drilling cones
But if some yell “save the planet!”
Conservatives recoil
If you wanna see the distance
‘Tween Sam and some folk
Take a gander at a Gulf…covered in oil
So while Sammy go surfin’
On a fat oil slick
And the crabs and the fishies
Suck on a dirty dip stick
Crank up a finger
For everyone to see
Put the chill on the drill
And to hell…with BP