Elaffront Park

“Happy days are here again, ain’t had such fun since I don’t know when
can’t wait to come back once again, happy days are here again”
Step right up folks and get your tickets for the new GOP ( God’s own People) Theme Park
There’s something for young and old alike, so get out that credit card and get ready to smile
We got: Water Boarding and Money Hoarding
Nature Thashin’ and Immigrant Bashin’
There’s chills and thrills for everyone
Take a scary walk through our own White House with a real live “spook” inside
Or, test your throwing arm with a gen-u-ine West Virginia “coal drop” by dunking a “climate change egghead” into a vat of oil
Walk by the serene waters of our “Social Security Privatization Pool” and toss in penny for luck
The older folks will get a kick out of the three legged “Hedge Fund Hop” and the “Greenback Sack” race
Back by popular demand is the “Mosque Toss”
Grab a Muslim by the toe, if he hollers let him go
Grab him by the head like so, drown him with some H2O It’s Hella fun!
Or, always popular with Southwestern folks, “The Frantic Hispanic”
Shoot a real life Mexican.
With a special pellet gun.
If you hit his old knapsack,
We’ll deport his butt and send him back!
This is a fan favorite so get your tickets early.
And, as always, when you want to sit a spell, maybe grab a bite to eat, you can relax.
All those “inferior breeds” will be serving the food. Not eating it alongside you.
Of course, “prayer booths” are located throughout the park for your convenience
The always popular “Palin Oracle” is back dispensing wisdom “real folks” can use
And House leader John Boehner will give a special performance to kick off the festivities, on our main stage, doing his version of the old Roy Orbison hit “Crying”
We’re open at 12:00 every day till 10:00 o’clock at night
Come one, come all and see the sights, but only if you’re White